Thursday, September 10, 2015

Finding Our Muchness Again

From the sound of our hearty first cries at birth,
We appear born into this world
Full of confidence

But we are totally dependent, in fact.

We only learn and grow 
In confidence
If we are nurtured and well-loved;
We lose it,
If that love is withdrawn.

God's love 
our rejection.

Until the Savior, 
who was rejected
By almost everyone on earth
While doing the most loving thing imaginable and beyond our wildest dreams--
Until He shows us all His nail scars in His heart and on His flesh 
And doesn't reject us but 
Comes close,
 embraces us
Deep and wide
With everlasting love 
Inside His everlasting arms
Full of the love that will never let us go.

Rejection comes to all of us;
Hits us full force in the center of 
Our security
Reminds us even the venerable are
Attempts to change who we think we are
And who we think we want to be
Tempts us to live to outpace the pain

Rejection tempts us to be less than ourselves
Can cause us to miss
The truest of loves

Until we find our acceptance
In God and His love
Until His voice and guidance matter
More than that of anyone else's
And then His truth can erase all the bad

Alice lost her muchness
When she became too absorbed with the affairs of her tangible world 
And the ways of being in it 
Versus who she really was meant to be and seen to be 
By the invisible world where she encountered the Jabberwocky.

She spent most of her time
Being too big or too small
Being told who she should be and where she should go by the wrong ones
And the 'right' ones
And she is just a character
She is not even real.

But we act like her far too often
On the heels of rejection
We find our muchness again
And we find it within God's great love.

And the broad spaces and high pastures to which He leads us spiritually
Are far more real and exceedingly vital than the world that shifts our focus by what we readily see

God gives us His best gifts
On the heels of rejection
Teaches us the only acceptance worth having is His
Leads us to others who will love us
And helps us have the courage to be all of ourselves again

Because our wounded hearts cannot imagine that there would be anyone for Alice outside Underland and the Mad Hatter to love her deeply for all that she is and more,
We write our own painful stories in the form of interior monologues that criticize ourselves to the extent 
We believe we're not worthy of receiving true love 
So we choose independence instead and carry around lesser gifts. 

And that is the single worst thing we ever do:
Try to make it on our own 

So God sends us a series of someones
In the here and now
if we will let Him
He sends us the kind of good people who bring out the best in us
Even if it first gets tense for a time
As we find ourselves experiencing new birth again of a different kind than salvation--
less important than the saving of our souls--
But essential in enabling us to love others better
As we fully trust Him and learn to re-love ourselves.

We learn to inhale and exhale 
God's grace

Just like that
"Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles"
Our hearts become whole again
We're unwrapping His best gifts

Like the best school lunches
You know the ones 
where someone leaves you a note 
Reminding you that they love you--
Our beautiful feast for the taking, remaking--
If we only believe the gift is ours
And no mistake
Because God wrote our name upon it
With the same love that engraves our names, bold and beautiful, 
on the palms of His hands.

And unlike Alice 
It is no fantasy 
For we find we are falling in love
First and foremost with God
Who makes us more than enough
Then with others sent to love us with His love long the way

And if we'll believe and receive it--
though the moment may unexpectedly come-
With God's special someone created for us--
As we receive His best romance,
best choice for us.

For love is always a choice

And when our choice is His choice
That can only mean one thing:
That we will be okay, come what may,
Because Jesus is the center of our joy.

His love will forever stay and help us,
not only in loving, being loved by Him and our special someone 
but also in
Loving ourselves 
past our past--
Finding our muchness in Him.